Ramadan When You Have A Disability

I decided to write about what Ramadan is like for me for Ramadan Readathon as I am unable to fast because of my disability and chronic illness.

Ramadan holds a special place in my heart, especially in my 20s when I could truly appreciate it and all the blessings it holds. But my 20s were also when I started struggling with my health and was eventually diagnosed with a prolapsed disc, fibromyalgia and vertigo. It affected every single aspect of my life and continues to do so, though I have mostly learned to adjust and make accommodations. 

However, it became more and more difficult for me to be able to fast and it severely affected my health. I eventually had to stop fasting after speaking to both my imam and doctors about how it is affecting me and it was probably one of the most difficult things to come to terms with.  

Every Ramadan I feel like I am missing out on these blessings and rewards for those who fast. Every Ramadan I have to prepare myself when people “need” to know why I am not fasting. The looks of pity and sometimes even judgement, saying “I should just try.” 

It makes me think twice about going to the masjid or public gatherings and when I’m there my anxiety is in overdrive. Because not only am I not fasting, but I also require a chair to sit as sitting on the floor causes my legs to go numb. But I don’t look disabled so I will always have to justify myself. I think there is only one masjid I’ve been to where I have actually felt welcome and that has truly made such a huge difference in my life.  

But it’s been a few years now that I haven’t been fasting and I’ve mostly come to terms with it. I know that Allah will reward me because it isn’t my fault that I cannot fast and that not fasting has allowed me to be able to function during the day as I can take my medication and manage my pain. It means I am able to pray taraweeh and stay up at night for ibadah. It means I can focus on my salah and Quran because I am not dying from pain and it also means that I am able to make iftar for my husband and get the rewards for feeding a fasting person.   

Seeing all the blessings that Allah has given me and the ability to still be able to complete other acts of worship and focus on that instead of the one thing I can no longer do has helped me to come to terms with this and still be able to make the most of this month. Having people in my life I can talk to about this has also been really helpful because sometimes I feel frustrated but after speaking to someone I love about it, I can see a different perspective and also just get it off my chest. Just being able to sit and ask Allah for help and turn to him especially when I am having a bad pain day just brings me sukoon and contentment. I know I will be okay. 

Obviously I still have good and bad days, days when I am more productive and days when I need to rest more (generally the day after I have cooked I need more rest as that takes a lot of spoons). So I know to manage my days accordingly. On days when I am not able to stand up and pray taraweeh I will sit and read Quran even if it’s from my phone because the joint pain in my hands are bad. If I can barely sit up I will watch a lecture or listen to Quran, do some dhikr to make the most of my time. I can still sometimes over do it but I am learning and alhamdulillah I am very lucky that it’s just me and my husband, he is very supportive and helps me with my pain management. If I’ve had a bad few days and there isn’t really any food for iftar, he will open his fast at the masjid and then bring home something for me to eat too.  

It’s been a big learning curve for me but alhamdulillah I am trying to make the most of Ramadan even if I can’t fast. It can be a lonely experience which is why I decided to write about mine and maybe someone else will read it and not feel like it’s only them, all alone. 

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Ways to Make the Most of Dhul Hijjah

The first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah are the most blessed days like the last 10 nights of Ramadan are the most blessed nights. So we should make the most of these days.

These days of Dhul Hijjah are so blessed because Allah completed the religion in these 10 days. All of the 5 pillars are present in these 10 days. Shahadah, praying, fasting, charity, and hajj which cannot be done at any other time. So we can complete all 5 pillars in these days which cannot be done at any other time of the year.

So I just wanted to share some of the things which are encouraged to do on these 10 days

Make Takbeer

Tahleel – La ilaha  illallah

Takbeer – Allahu Akbar

Tasbeeh – Subhanallah

Tahmeed – Alhamdulillah

There are no days that are greater before Allah or in which good deeds are more beloved to Him, that these 10 days so recite a great deal of tahleel, takbeer, and tahmeed during them. (Ahmad)

Fasting

It is encouraged to fast the first 9 days of Dhul Hijjah and we are especially encouraged to fast on the 9^th day which is the day of Arafah.

Fasting on the day of Arafah is an expiation for the preceding year and the following year. (Muslim)

Fulfil obligations

When we try to make the most of these days we need to remember that we have obligations to Allah and the people which we cannot neglect. So for example we need to make sure we perform our 5 daily prayers and fulfil our responsibilities to those who we are responsible for.

Increase in Good Deeds

We should try to increase in as many good deeds as we can during these days.

Some examples are; praying nafl prayers, increasing in how much Quran we read, giving in Sadaqah and making istigfar

There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allah than these 10 days. (Bukhari)

Perform Hajj

This is something that not everyone can do but for those that have the means and ability it is obligatory for them to perform Hajj at least once in their lifetime.

Hajj is one of the 5 pillars of Islam so we should do our utmost best to perform hajj if we are able.

Give Qurbani

Even if we can’t perform Hajj we can still give Qurbani which is the sacrifice of an animal. Today there are many charities we can donate the money to so that the meat from the sacrificed animal will go to the poor and needy.

It is a way for us to connect to Ibrahim and reminding ourselves of the faith he had in Allah and that we should strive to build our faith and connection with Allah too.

For every hair of the Qurban you receive a reward from Allah.” (Tirmidhi)

Inspirational Women Throughout History – Aisha bint Abu Bakr

Today I am going to talk a little about Aisha bint Abu Bakr (ra). She is one of my favourite women to read about as I find her so inspiring and someone to look up to.

She was an incredible woman, she was a wife of the Prophet (saw) and we know through many narrations that he loved her most from everyone. And when I read about her life and the woman she was I can see why!

She was the most renowned scholar and a teacher and she taught all the companions of the Prophet (saw) especially after his death. If anyone needed clarification on any matters or needed an answer for something they would go to her. She was known to be the most knowledgeable person. She especially excelled in hadith, fiqh, poetry and medicine. She was the type of person who, if she didn’t know or understand something she would go and learn about it until she became confident in that area.

She was a very sharp and feisty woman who stood up for her beliefs and was confident and assertive when it came to correcting people so that misinformation wouldn’t spread. She was also very eloquent in her speech, a great speaker and was even known to be a better speaker than the first four caliphs, Abu Bakr (ra), Umar (ra), Uthman (ra) and Ali (ra) and these four were known to be some of the best of people and leaders. She was outspoken and voiced her opinions on many matters in Islam, even if the other scholars disagreed she would give her opinion and her evidences for her opinion and always be confident in speaking up.

She spoke up about so many things from women’s rights, to education and so much more.

Her assertiveness and confidence to speak up is even more important to note because she lived in a time when that wasn’t the norm for women to be so outspoken. This slowly changed as Islam spread but she was alive right at the beginning when things were slowly changing. So for her to be so unafraid to speak up against even the men and those in power was something amazing. She did this throughout her life and because of her we have so much information about Islam and the Prophet (saw) and about life at the time.

She narrated 2210 hadith (sayings of the Prophet ) which included things on worship and family and especially women’s health, for example what women can and can’t do on their periods in terms of worship etc. She always shared intimate moments about her life with the Prophet (saw). Things we otherwise would never have known, from how he was in the home, how he spoke to her, how much he joked and made her laugh, how much he expressed his love to her and so attentive to the point that he knew by her changing one word in how she spoke to him that she was mad at him. We would never know any of these things without her.

She preserved so much of Islamic beliefs and worship and so much more because she was one of the best teachers and leaders in education. Without her so much would have been lost to time.

Quran Reflections – A Glimpse of Jannah

I have been meaning to share some of my quranic reflections on here as it is an important part of my life and I thought that as Ramadan is approaching, I would start sharing some now. Sometimes I read an ayah (verse) in the Quran and I am left amazed at how it is the one ayah I needed to read at the time. It really makes me reflect on what I was reading so I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you all.

I love that in the Quran, Allah gives us a glimpse of what Jannah (heaven) will be like. He (swt) tells us about gardens, rivers, food; things that we can see on the earth. And because we can see these things, we can imagine, to our best ability, what Jannah will be like. And because we can see the beauty on the earth, it makes us long for Jannah. We know that no matter how beautiful earth is, Jannah will be so much better. The beauty of the earth is nothing compared to the beauty of Jannah and I just long to see it. If we could not understand what was being described about Jannah, we wouldn’t long for it like we do. This longing helps us to strive for Jannah.

When I’m struggling, when I’m going through something difficult and I am really stressed, Allah has put these beautiful descriptions of Jannah in the Quran to help us through. Not only describing what Jannah will be like but also telling us that we won’t experience any hardship or sadness or pain or fear in Jannah. That’s one of the most amazing things that Allah could have shared with us. That in Jannah there is no pain, no sadness, no suffering. At all. Ever. For eternity. This completely blows my mind. Please let me be able to experience that.

Sometimes there are things that I really want or something I am hoping will happen, but it doesn’t. We are disappointed and we can’t always have the things we want. But in Jannah we can have whatever we want. We just have to think it and we will get it, whether it’s food, books, clothes, anything! It will literally be a thought in our head, and it will be in front of us. I could spend days doing everything and anything I want. Just thinking about it makes me sob.

Knowing these things about Jannah helps us to keep going when we feel like we can’t continue. When we feel like the pain won’t ever go away, knowing that we can live pain free for an eternity can push us to keep going. Because my life on earth is temporary and nothing stays the same in our lives on earth. We have good times and bad times; it is always changing. But in Jannah it is only good things, only exactly what we want. I can’t begin to explain how much my heart longs for this.

I could literally spend my days in Jannah reading and chilling with Sherlock all day, every day if I wanted. That’s the dream! Thinking of Jannah honestly gives me such motivation to continue to strive because oh my gosh I really want to spend an eternity in Jannah.

A History of Islam in 21 Women by Hossein Kamaly – ARC Review

I was sent an ARC by One World Publications in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed reading this book, reading about Muslim women, some which I already knew about and some who were new to me.

Rating: 4.5/5

What this book is about:

Beginning in seventh-century Mecca and Medina, A History of Islam in 21 Women takes us around the globe, through eleventh-century Yemen and Khorasan, and into sixteenth-century Spain, Istanbul and India. From there to nineteenth-century Persia and the African savannah, to twentieth-century Russia, Turkey, Egypt and Iraq, before reaching present day London.

From the first believer, Khadija, and the other women who witnessed the formative years of Islam, to award-winning mathematician Maryam Mirzakhani in the twenty-first century, Hossein Kamaly celebrates the lives and ground breaking achievements of these extraordinary women in the history of Islam.

When this book was announced I literally squealed with joy! Finally a book that includes Muslim women! Whenever I see a book published about amazing women, I have always found that consistently Muslim women are excluded or at most only one Muslim women is in there (always Malala) and I always felt upset because surely in 1400 years they must have found more than one woman worthy of being put into these books?

It actually put me off reading them eventually as even in books to empower women, women who looked like me were still excluded. The only time I found Muslim women being spoken about were in classical Islamic texts but I wanted something that was accessible to all and then this gem of a book was published.

While this book isn’t perfect, it is certainly a great book for anyone wanting to learn about Muslim women and how much they have achieved and in so many fields. From being literal queens and leaders of their communities to mathematicians and so much more. This book shows how accomplished women were throughout Islamic history and it is just the tip of the iceberg.

These are the women I was raised learning about, Khadijah (ra) who is the first woman spoken about in this book is my role model and always has been since I was young. She was a successful businesswoman and one of the wealthiest people in her tribes. She proposed to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and he worked for her even after they were married. I could honestly write a whole essay about her and my love for her. And I am so glad that she is in this book and that you all get to meet her.

This book has a wide range of women, starting from when Islam first came all the way up to modern times and I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to narrow it down to just 21. But I am so glad to have read this book because there are so many women that even I hadn’t heard of. Muslim women who lived in different places in the world but all had a huge impact on their society.

These women are shown as they were, independent, outspoken, brave, smart, and so much more. It was refreshing to see this and not the usual media narrative which perpetuates stereotypes and always shows Muslim women as weak and submissive. This book amongst others I have read this year are the beginning of us taking back the narrative of who we truly are.

I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially if you do not know much about Muslim women throughout history. It is a great starting point as it gives a great overview of their lives and achievements but it isn’t so dense that it puts you off reading.