Adult Books, Non Fiction Books

Period. It’s About Bloody Time by Emma Barnett – Book Review

Okay so I only picked this up because there was recently a readalong hosted for the book and there were rave reviews. I was skeptical because the author has said some problematic things in the past and honestly this book left me a screaming ball of rage.

Rating: 0.5 out of 5.

What the book is about: (apparently)

At a time when women around the world are raising their voices in the fight for equality, there is still one taboo where there remains a deafening silence: periods. Period. is an agenda-setting manifesto to remove the stigma and myths continuing to surround the female body. Bold and unapologetic, Emma Barnett is on a crusade to ignite conversation among women–and men–everywhere.

This is yet another white western feminist book that speaks about how enlightened they are and how their view is the correct view. The condescending manner in which she spoke about women of colour and inaccurate religious beliefs and cultural practices just left me incredibly angry. How are you going to write this book which is supposed to be empowering while perpetuating harmful stereotypes and giving false information which people can use as ammunition against people of colour. Utterly disgusting that this was even published and not once questioned as to where she got this information.

She did not in fact list any sources anywhere in the book about where she got the stats she shared or any other information and yet somehow it was published and people are raving about it? Why? This book isn’t even ground breaking, nothing she says is new or even remotely helpful. It’s a vague, trying way too hard to be funny (when she’s not) and just her screaming DON’T BE EMBARRASED SPEAK ABOUT PERIODS. Yes, Emma, but how? Was there anything in there to suggest ways in which to bring up the topic in different situations? Was there any resources for people to go and look up for help? Absolutely nothing. Just her screaming about how we shouldn’t be ashamed of it anymore. So what even was the point of this utterly useless book?

“Factions of Islam believe women shouldn’t touch the Quran, pray or have sexual intercourse with their husbands while menstruating. Muslim women are similarly deemed impure and must be limited in terms of contaminating their faith or their men.”

Who told her this? Because she didn’t learn that from us. The utter rage I felt reading this paragraph and her wording of it. Yes, we do not pray or fast or do certain acts of worship. No it is not because we are impure. No it is not because we are less nor do we find it oppressive. Not having to wake up before sunrise when we are on our period to pray is a blessing from Allah, He gives us a break so we can rest, because we sure as hell aren’t going to get that same level of care and understanding from anyone else. We are also not considered impure. It is a state of ritual impurity, the Quran is sacred and we have to be in a state of ritual purity to touch the Arabic Quran, this is regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. There are several things which cause both men and women to be in a state of ritual impurity and yet she makes it sound like this is an oppression for women. Please calm down with your fake woke attitude we do not need nor want to be ‘saved’ by you. Throughout the book in fact she only ever mentions religion in a negative way, the same goes for any mentions of cultural practices different to her own or people of colour.

She repeatedly tells us that she is educated and living in one of the most advanced societies on earth and yet her opinions show her lack of knowledge of intersectional feminism and even the ability to see that maybe not everyone finds her brand of feminism empowering at all. That her brand of feminism should have died a long time ago and she really needs to go back to school and get up to date on these things. That white western feminism only cares about white middle class women to the detriment of everyone else.

Her privilege oozed out of the pages making me nauseous. She said women need to be taken seriously about their health. How she had suffered from horrible periods and yet she doesn’t see how her white privilege gave her the ability to seek help and be believed. Women of colour don’t get that same treatment. Just saying go to a different doctor as if everyone has that option isn’t exactly helpful information. She shares stories of women who made radical choices that made headline news and uses that as examples of how we should all speak up but she doesn’t see how women are speaking up in so many ways that may not be as radical and not newsworthy.

The constant comparison of the west and developing world using such loaded terms will have an impact on how people view those not living in the ‘privileged’ west. Her words matter and yet not her, nor her editor or any other person who read this before release mentioned it, and that is another example of how she uses her privilege to push her white western feminism that benefits no one except people that look like her. She speaks about how women wanted to show that they are as good as men so anything ‘expressly female’ were downplayed. But again, only white western feminism is calling for this. She speaks as if her brand of feminism is the superior feminist brand and yet is still holding on to things that are decades out of date.

When you are a minority, you don’t want to seem like you are kicking up a stink about something which nobody else fully understands or at the that time felt like they could talk about.

Is she talking about the many minority groups that need their voices uplifted? Nope. She’s talking about Margaret Thatcher, a white woman in a position of power. Now normally I wouldn’t have an issue with this discussion however considering how she dehumanised and othered actual minority groups throughout the book, yes I absolutely do. Words matter, the way you write things matter.

“We have made huge progress on all of these fronts. As I write this, a woman runs the country I live in, another runs the most powerful country in the European Union and sexual harassment is being called out the world over with the hashtag #MeToo”

Okay but does this actually mean we have all benefited from this? Does it mean all people can feel safer about speaking up about sexual harassment? She makes sweeping statements like this to make it sound like there has been huge progress for all. But people of colour haven’t felt that progress, we are still fighting to be able to exist and live safely. Ignoring everything happening to people of colour shows how little she actually cares about anyone who doesn’t look like her.

I also found the book to be so mundane in the things she chose to write about. There are a myriad of complex issues regarding periods and women’s health that should and could have been discussed in a nuanced manner however there is no nuance in this book at all. Some of the issues too seem like she is just saying it to show how woke she is. “Don’t you just hate those patronising aisles in supermarkets which have the label feminine hygiene dangling above them in a halo of fluorescent lighting? Just call a pad a pad already.” Clearly, she doesn’t understand that the aisles have more than just pads. She was also complaining about we don’t have a pad emoji and she has been forced to use the Japanese flag. I just think about all the discussions she could have had about all the very real issues people face all over the world regarding periods and yet she chose to speak about these. Like I get it, it’s part of the shaming that we don’t have these emojis etc but women are literally dying due to so many issues surrounding periods and women’s health. And so much of it is just not touched upon at all.

She did speak about how women don’t always have access to pads or tampons which yes, it does need to be spoken about more but again she just complained about the issue with no real discussion on what can be done about it. Every single complaint she had about lack of awareness or shame or access to pads etc had no real discussion about things that could be done or what is being done with resources listed so people can actually go and find them and help these organisations. Instead of actual resources and sources for her information in the book she decided to list all the different things people have used to call periods. I wouldn’t have minded that if there had been actual sources too to show that her information is accurate because she already showed me she will include false information when I read about what she wrote about Islamic beliefs so how can I actually trust the information she wrote in the rest of the book?

This book left me incredibly angry and not for the reasons it should have. It is full of inaccurate information about religious beliefs. It erases people of colour and how different our fight against shame about periods is. It dehumanises people of colour with her comparisons about how educated she is and how advanced a society she lives in compared to the uneducated people and backwards societies of the developing world. Nothing she speaks about is remotely inspiring or made me want to rage about the injustices and even the writing itself was poor. How this has been published and praised is beyond me. Do yourselves a favour and skip this for other books about periods and empowerment.

Books by Muslim Authors, Non Fiction Books

Angels in Your Presence by Omar Suleiman – Book Review

Thank you to Kube Publishing for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Synopsis:

Throughout your existence, there are angels in your presence. But it’s your actions that cause those angels to either praise you or disgrace you. Through this book, we will explore the actions that invite these blessed unseen beings to pray upon you, and carry your name and mention to the One who created us all.

This book is based on Imam Omar Suleiman’s Ramadan series from last year and I absolutely loved it. We are taught that angels exist and they have a role in our lives from when we are young but they are distant things that we don’t really think about much.

We never truly hear about them in the way that we are told in this book. They are so much more intertwined in our lives than we ever thought. We learn about how much they are a part of our lives and how much they aid us in our day to day.

I really loved how this book is written in such an easy to read way and divided into small sections so that you can read easily over several days or weeks to truly be able to absorb everything we learn. I read this slowly throughout Ramadan and it just helped me connect to Allah. One of the things I love about the book is that it isn’t just vague information but written in a way that we can connect it to our daily lives.

Omar Suleiman writes in such a way that it connects with our heart and soul and it really made me emotional reading some of the chapters. Especially the chapter where he talks about death and how angels descend to say Ameen to our duas for the person.

This book is inspired by his Ramadan series which he does every year and honestly I highly recommend reading it and watching the series available on youtube. I also recommend Prayers of the Pious and Allah Loves which were also Ramadan series and now available as books.

Non Fiction Books

The Muslim Problem: Why We’re Wrong About Islam and Why It Matters by Tawseef Khan – ARC Review

Thank you to Atlantic Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review. I was tentatively looking forward to reading this but this book was such a disappointment.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Synopsis from Goodreads:

Why are Muslim men portrayed as inherently violent? Does the veil violate women’s rights? Is Islam stopping Muslims from integrating?

Across western societies, Muslims are more misunderstood than any other minority. But what does it mean to believe in Islam today, to have forged your beliefs and identity in the shadow of 9/11 and the War on Terror? Exploding stereotypes from both inside and outside the faith, The Muslim Problem shows that while we may think we know all about Islam we are often wrong about even the most basic facts.

The synopsis sounds like this would be a great read with a nuanced discussion however this was not what this book was. It started with talking about how Muslims celebrate Christmas and just got worse from there. It took me months to get through this book because I had to keep putting it down because it made me so mad.

The only decent thing in this book was discussing the political history which has led to the increase in Islamophobia and violence against Muslims. I actually liked how he wrote about this and truly the only good part of each chapter was this discussion. If you are going to read this book just read these parts.

I for the life of me cannot understand how he so easily insulted scholars and spoke about the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) and repeatedly stated that using common sense is enough to understand the Quran. It really isn’t because this is how people twist the words, they have no real education in any of this and go about deciding for themselves what the Quran says. He also didn’t speak to actual scholars regarding these issues, only speaking to activists isn’t enough. They have not dedicated years to understanding the Quran and the Prophet (pbuh) teachings. Especially as our first language is English we cannot truly understand the Quran unless we can read and understand Arabic which I don’t think a lot of us are. Honestly by the end of the book I was so incredibly mad about all the misinformation about Islam and the way the author dismissed and belittled over a thousand year of Islamic scholarship.

Starting the first chapter with the claim that Muslims integrate because they celebrate Christmas left me with a sense of dread as to what the rest of the book will hold because I shouldn’t have to celebrate another religions, religious festival to be considered as integrated into society. This is assimilation, the irony is that he actually discusses assimilation in a later chapter yet doesn’t see how this is also assimilation. Also saying that he laughed at scholars who have explained why we don’t celebrate Christmas, and called it inane remarks is not the progressive thinking that you think it is.

I completely lost all faith in this book when he started to say how hadith are unreliable and came after the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) saying that they were oppressive and unreliable. Truly I don’t know where he found this because the ones he specifically mentioned are known for their reliability and standing up for justice.

There was also an undertone that is incredibly problematic which was regarding “conservative Muslims” and how they were an issue. He even grouped Islamophobes and them together as if they are the same. Just because someone chooses to practice Islam in a way that you aren’t comfortable with that doesn’t make them wrong or bad. There are parts of Islam that aren’t completely compatible with the western culture and you know what that is okay. You can’t change or water down Islam and claim that this is the correct thing and look down on others. There was several instances of humble bragging that had me rolling my eyes too and I just…it’s safe to say that I did not enjoy this book, at all.

I am tired of books being published that have so much misinformation or written in a way that makes Islam palatable to non-Muslims because what is even the point of these books. If you are going to write about Islamic beliefs and integral parts of the faith then at least go speak to the actual scholars about it.

This book is called the Muslim problem and yet all it does is create more problems. People reading this will look at me and say why am I not celebrating Christmas and that I am not integrating. It’s awkward enough as it is to explain why I don’t want to take part in Christmas celebrations without other Muslims claiming it is absolutely fine. The fact that the reviews I’ve seen so far that praise this book is all from non-Muslims and the reviews from Muslims are all discussing the issues in this book and how it is not a great book to deal with these issues should tell you all you need to know about how reliable the information about Islam really is.

Book Recommendations, Muslim Shelf Space, Non Fiction Books

Books To Read Before You Get Married

I know quite a few people that are getting married this year and as I have been asked by a few different people about book recommendations to read before getting married I decided to write this post to put all of the books I have read and benefitted from in one place.

These are a mixture of Islamic marriage books which deal with the rights and responsibilities that Allah has given us and books that while may not always align with Islamic teachings are still very beneficial and hold a lot of insight to managing different issues in your marriage.

I also decided to include some books which are more for your own benefit as while we are looking to improve our marriage it is just as important to continue to learn and grow ourselves. Especially when it comes to Islam and how to manage our own weaknesses and strengths.

These are books that anyone can find beneficial regardless of whether they are married or not:

Secrets to a Successful Marriage by Afshan Khan

The Muslim Marriage Handbook by Huda Khattab

Traversing the Highs and Lows of Marriage by Sadaf Farooqi

The Muslim Marriage Guide by Ruqaiyah Maqsood

The Quest for Love and Mercy – Regulations of Marriage and Wedding by Muhammad Jibaly

The Fragile Vessels – Rights and Obligations between Spouses by Muhammad Jibaly

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

I feel that these books will be more of benefit to those already in a marriage:

Toxic In Laws by Susan Forward

Our Precious Sprouts – Islamic regulations for New-borns by Muhammad Jibaly

These are books that deal specifically with intimacy in marriage and also sexual health which is an area that is severely lacking in resources:

Like a Garment by Yasir Qadhi

The Hormone Diaries by Hannah Witton

The Muslimah Sex Manual: The Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex by Umm Muladhat

Closer than a Garment – Marital Intimacy by Muhammad Jibaly

Period Power by Nadya Okomoto

This is the books I recommend for your own self development:

Love and Happiness by Yasmin Mogahed

Allah Loves by Omar Suleiman

Diseases of the Hearts and their Cures by Ibn Taymiyyah

Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed

Weakness of Iman by Muhammad al-Munajjid

Muhammad: How he can make you Extraordinary by Hesham al-Awadi

Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Qayyim

Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig

Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez

The Self Care Project by Jayne Hardy

I hope you find some of these of benefits and if you have any recommendations do let me know in the comments!

Books by Muslim Authors, Diverse Books, Muslim Shelf Space, Non Fiction Books, Ramadan Readathon

Allah Loves by Omar Suleiman – Book Review

Thank you to Kube Publishing for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.

I absolutely loved this book. It was such a spiritually uplifting book which I read during Ramadan.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Synopsis:

In Allah Loves Omar Suleiman explores who and what Allah loves so that we may become one of those who are beloved to Him. The Prophet Muhammad said that one of the supplications of Prophet Dawud was, “O Allah I ask You for Your love and the love of those that love You and all of those actions that would bring me closer to being loved by you.” Looking at our actions, characteristics and beliefs, this book will help us become better people, citizens and believers that are deserving of Allah’s endless, infinite and ever-lasting love. Made up of 30 short and spiritually enriching chapters, this book is a reminder that throughout our lives, the Creator’s love is always there, increasing through everyday actions such as showing generosity or remaining consistent with unnoticeable good deeds.

This book was adapted from his Ramadan series and honestly I am so happy to have it in a book form. I love watching his online classes and talks and having it in a book is so great to be able to refer back to. If you enjoy his classes then I highly recommend picking up his books.

This is the type of book you can come back to again and again and continue to benefit from it. It’s a short book but full of important lessons and reminders that Allah’s love is infinite and that small everyday deeds can bring us close to him. We often think we need to be perfect but that isn’t the case. 

Each chapter begins with a specific quality that Allah loves; piety, justice, patience, gentleness and so much more. Then we learn about why Allah loves this quality with Quran and hadith. I loved how each quality was spoken about and we learnt that it isn’t big grand gestures but the small everyday acts that Allah loves most. To incorporate these qualities in our lives and be consistent in them.

This is such a heartfelt book and I loved reading through it. It is written in such a easy to read way and understand. I know I will come back to this book time and time again. It is full of beautiful gems and words of wisdom. It will help us to re-evaluate our lives and work to improve ourselves and build good habits.

I highly recommend this book for everyone to read and I also recommend reading his first book, Prayers of the Pious.